Below Deck’s “Breakfast Special”

There is perhaps no one I respect more in the entire Bravo repertoire than the chefs of Below Deck. All of the jobs on BD are very hard and very real, which is part of the reason the show has withstood the test of time. Unlike the Housewives, with their mostly-dubious “business endeavors,” or the cast of Vanderpump, who have long since grown out of their fake serving roles at SUR and PUMP, these lads & ladies sweat/cry/work for every dollar they make. 

But the chefs have an even more insane job than the deckhands and stews. First of all, they’re a department of one: there’s no one to back them up if they oversleep or trip and blow out their knee. Second of all, the kitchens are pieces of shit. Imagine cooking literally anything when half the burners don’t work, the fan is broken, your porter delivered oysters of the Rocky Mountain variety instead of 3 dozen Kumamotos, and you just hit a patch of sea that lurched your omelette directly onto an open flame. It’s consistently high pressure, too: while deckhands worry about docking, which happens once an episode, a single bad bite of a dish can shake the guests’ confidence in their entire experience (and thus affect the tip, which makes everyone resentful and cranky). 

art by Alyssa Kurtzman

Mealtime on BD is frequently the main source of frustration, drama, and stress (which makes for excellent watching). On the very first episode of Below Deck Mediterranean, Chef Ben lovingly prepares a moussaka, only to have the guests visibly cringe and pick at it before one declared “I don’t want any of this.” Ben blames the whiff on Hannah, who stumbled over the dish’s presentation, which winds Hannah up and makes her defensive, which sets us up for a GREAT season of tension between them.

And so, we come to my favorite Below Deck meal: the “chef’s breakfast special.” This “special” can be anything from a lobster Benedict to duck confit & waffles, but the point is to make it sound SO appealing and delicious that your horde of obnoxious richy riches all opt in to a single option, vs. asking for eggs and various gluten-free products 1,000 different ways. My take relies on a good, crusty bread, an herby chimichurri, and two perfectly poached eggs (if you’ve never poached an egg, no worries: I’m here to help, and it’s not as hard as it looks). Crack on, dive in, and enjoy… before you’re too late for your shift on deck.

Don’t forget to pair it with an espresso martini (especially since I forced my friend Max to make up a recipe for one and share it with me).

BREAKFAST SPECIAL RECIPE

INGREDIENTS

• Crusty bread 

• 2 eggs, room temp (this makes them easier to poach!) 

• Vinegar (for poaching) 

• 1 roma/heirloom tomato 

• Arugula 

• 1 avocado 

• ½ lemon, juiced 

• 1 tbsp. olive oil 

• 1 tbsp. Parsley, minced 

• ½ tbsp. oregano/savory, minced

• 1 garlic clove, crushed 

• 1 tsp. Red pepper flakes 

• Salt & pepper to taste

INSTRUCTIONS

Crack eggs into shallow dishes (sauce/soy sauce dishes work well) and set aside. Fill a small saucepan with ~2 inches of water and start heating over medium-high heat, until it’s just below a boil. 

Meanwhile, toast bread, and slice avocado and tomato. Whisk 1 tbsp olive oil + lemon; pour over arugula to dress it. Arrange avocado, arugula, and tomato on toast (in that order). Combine parsley, oregano, garlic clove, and red pepper flakes in small dish. Pour olive oil into mixture until it’s just barely covered. 

POACH THE EGGS: don’t be nervous (the eggs can feel if you’re scared). Add a solid glug of vinegar into almost-boiling water; slide eggs in gently from their dishes. Let poach for 3-5 minutes, depending on how yolk-y you like it (a slight jiggle of the pan’s handle will help you tell if they’re done: if you give a jiggle & see the whites moving, they’re not done). 

Gently take eggs out of water (a slotted spoon will make this MUCH easier!). Carefully place on top of toast, adding chimichurri over the eggs. Serve with an espresso martini, and don’t forget to put the toys in the water before you go on your break, or Captain Sandy will have your stripes. 

MAX’S COLD BREW MARTINI RECIPE

Go check out @maxdrinksthings for more!

photo & recipe by Max Plenke (@maxdrinksthings)

INGREDIENTS

• 2 oz. vodka

• 1 oz. cold brew (from Metric, if you’re in Chicago)

• 1/2 oz. Kahlua

• 1/2 oz. simple syrup

INSTRUCTIONS

Combine all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake well, strain into a cocktail glass, and garnish with 3 coffee beans.