SUR’s Baked Goat Cheese Balls

I, like you, have been hearing about the damn SUR fried goat cheese balls for YEARS at this point. The Vanderpump crew eats them on practically every shift, Kristen wrote her own recipe for them on People, and Stassi probably should have titled her book “Next Level [Goat Cheese] Balls.” When Vanderpump premiered, I was living in NYC, many, many miles away. I now live ~6 minutes away from the Vanderpump triangle (TomTom/SUR/Pump), but at the time, I was so distant! Imagine my surprise and horror when I googled these famed Goat Cheese Balls, expecting to see some serious oozing, cheesy goodness nestled atop a bed of elegant microgreens, and saw…. this:

Image from Pinterest. Absolutely no shade to the photographer. Like, how are you supposed to make that look good?

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE????? I’m sure they actually do taste fire, but holy shit, if I’m shelling out $13 for 3 balls covered in what looks to be bodily fluids — I mean, uhhh, “mango sauce,” per the menu — I want a little presentation. Bitching aside, like I said, I’m sure they actually do taste good. Below is a little riff on my version, where I opted to bake instead of fry (less for health reasons, more for “deep frying is a messy pain in the ass” reasons), and put them on a salad, because #LA. You could swap strawberries with almost any kind of fruit (raspberries, blueberries, or even melon would be great), and honestly use whatever greenery/nut situation you want. Also, please enjoy my favorite AK original photoshop to date below.

Art by Alyssa Kurtzman

RECIPE

INGREDIENTS 

• 1/2 log goat cheese

• 2 cups arugula

• 1/2 cup strawberries (or other fruit)

• Handful of chopped almonds (or other nut)

• 1/4 cup fresh basil

• Balsamic glaze (for garnish)

• 1 tbsp. olive oil

• 1/2 lemon

• 1 garlic clove, crushed

• 1 tsp. grainy or dijon mustard

• 1 cup panko

• 1 large egg

• 1 tsp. garlic powder

• 1 tsp. dried basil

• 1 tsp. onion powder

• Salt + pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

BALLS

Roll goat cheese into equal sized balls. Place on a plate, cover with foil or saran wrap, and freeze for 30 minutes (this will keep them from melting when you bake them).

Meanwhile, pre-heat oven to 450 degrees. Mix panko with garlic powder, onion powder, and basil on a plate. Mix egg in a bowl, and set aside. Line a baking sheet with foil. Remove balls from freezer, and, one by one, dip balls in egg mix + roll gently in panko before placing them onto baking sheet. Place balls + baking sheet in oven, watching carefully, for about 5-10 minutes.

SALAD

Combine mustard, lemon, crushed garlic, and salt and pepper in a small dish for the dressing. Slowly add olive oil, whisking so it doesn’t separate. Toss with chopped fruit, nuts, and greens before placing piping hot balls on top and drizzling with balsamic glaze. Close your eyes and pretend, just for a moment, your shift just ended at SUR, and these are 60% off with your house discount.