Real For Real Herb Salmon
Here’s the thing about Shannon Beador: she has moxie. She was married to a total dick who disparaged her weight, parenting style, and general presence for 17 whole years, and when they got divorced, she rebounded with 1) a newfound sense of swag, 2) a house all to herself, and 3) a banging new bod. It’s obviously fucked up how much we correlate womens’ weight (or lack thereof) to success/happiness/etc., but it’s clear to me that Shannon was losing weight for herself, and felt awesome about it. Which is fantastic! That’s a tough road, good for her. [Dumbledore voice] HOWEVER. However.
I so, so desperately wish she had channeled that energy and branding into an actual lifestyle blog, or a fitness clothing line, or maybe even a cute little juice pop-up on the Coast, a la OC Moonjuice. Instead, she made a shady meal service kit BASED ON MICROWAVABLE SEAFOOD, and sold it on QVC.
Another photoshop mastery by Alyssa Kurtzman.
Welcome to “Real For Real” (???), a line of food products that Shannon said helped her lose weight. When you sign up, you get nine 10-oz seafood meals (that re-ship every 90 days for a YEAR), and your meal choices are: Southwest Cod (red quinoa, black beans, verde sauce), “Scampi Shrimp” (spinach and roasted red peppers over linguini), and/or Cream Cheese and Herb Filled Salmon (served over rice). Seafood and dairy have always been a questionable combination to me — a road best traveled lightly, with lots of freshness and lemon zest — and when you add in the fact that all of this shit is frozen and MICROWAVED, I start feeling a little queasy. Shan, babe, you did not lose weight eating cream cheese and microwavable salmon! Let us in on the real secrets to success, if only so we can live vicariously through you as a super rich person who probably pays a trainer to sit next to the fridge and give a gentle head shake whenever you try and open it.
Add 9 lemons for garnish/luck, obvi.
I’d also like to add that while researching the salmon dish, which I’ve put my own spin on here (hint: less cream, add herbs, and a quinoa/zucchini medley vs. rice), I realized that “Real For Real” sits on a HOUSE OF LIES, as they claim their salmon is wild caught, but also comes from the Faroe Islands, where commercial wild salmon fishing has been banned FOR YEARS. Farmed salmon ain’t nothin to turn your nose up at, btw — it’s often more sustainable and contains fewer pesky parasites than its wild cousins — but let’s be at least a little honest about our sourcing, no? Also, a quick word about salmon varieties, because I’m from Seattle and am a total fish snob: the fish I used is wild caught Coho, but I also love a Sockeye and King; they’re leaner, but more flavorful than their Atlantic counterparts.
RECIPE
INGREDIENTS
1 filet of salmon (~4 oz.)
1/2 cup quinoa, cooked
Handful of arugula, chopped
1 zucchini, diced
2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup Shiitake mushrooms
1/4 onion, diced
2 tbsp. olive oil, divided
1/2 lemon
Dollop of creme fraiche
Chives
Salt + pepper
INSTRUCTIONS
QUINOA + ZUCCHINI SALAD
Sautee mushrooms and onion in olive oil over medium high heat. Add garlic cloves and zucchini, cook for 2-3 minutes until softened. Mix with quinoa and arugula to wilt while still warm.
SALMON
Pat salmon dry & season liberally with salt and pepper. Heat one tbsp of olive oil over medium high heat; add salmon skin-side down once hot (it should sizzle a bit). Cook for 3 minutes before flipping; cook 2 more minutes, let rest, and serve over salad.